Beyond "Just Say No": Helping Teens Think Critically About Sexual Readiness

Here’s a fact that might surprise you: According to the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance, 32% of high school students have had sex. But if you ask teens, many of them think that EVERYONE is doing it. Blame TV, movies, TikTok—whatever the reason, there’s a huge gap between perception and reality when it comes to sexual activity. And that perception? It can create a ton of pressure.

That’s why we need to talk to our teens about how to actually decide when (or if) to have sex. Not in a fear-based, shame-filled way, but with real tools, real conversations, and real-world scenarios.

Helping Teens Think Critically About Sexual Readiness (BRAVO FRAMEWORK)

I grew up LDS (Mormon) where talking about sex was beyond shameful. There were no conversations about how to make decisions—just a clear message Sex before marriage = bad. Don’t do it. No discussions about personal values, boundaries, protection, or consent—just an expectation that if you were a “good person,” you would wait. *Sidenote: No shame to LDS members on this either, I understand the importance of that belief for them, I just want to show how it impacted my feelings around making decisions for my sexual health.

When I became a sex educator, I saw students struggling with the same thing—just in a different way. They weren’t getting clear, judgment-free guidance on how to navigate these choices. Instead, they were either getting abstinence-only messaging or the complete opposite—just “be safe” without any deeper discussion.

For this reason, I created this AM I READY FOR SEX - Decision Making LESSON which uses a framework I call BRAVO. It is a simple but powerful decision-making tool that helps students ask themselves the deeper questions before making sexual health choices. It’s about helping them think critically...not telling them what to do.

B – Boundaries What are my personal limits? Do I feel safe, respected, and in control?

R – Risks What could happen if I make this choice? Am I prepared for the responsibilities?

A – Alternatives. What other ways can I experience closeness or intimacy? Do I need more time to decide?

V – Values Does this choice reflect who I am and what I believe?

O – Open Communication Have I actually talked to my partner about this? Do they respect my decision and I theirs?

Helping Teens Think Critically About Sexual Readiness

Click Here To Check It Out!

How to Use Case Studies in Sex Ed

Along with this BRAVO framework I had to add something to apply it and not just preach it.. because let’s be real... telling teens what to do never works. But helping them think through real situations? That’s where it really clicks for them.

Instead of just saying, “Don’t feel pressured,” through short stories I introduce them to Andrew, who truly loves his girlfriend Jen, but she assumes sex is the next step even though isn't sure he feels ready. And instead of glossing over different identities and experiences, we talk about Joshua, who is in a wheelchair and isn’t sure how his disability might affect his first time, and Liam, who isn’t drawn to sex the way his peers are and is questioning whether he might be asexual. Or Sonia who feels ready for sex but isn't sure if it's just that she's about to graduate and is afraid of going to college as a virgin.

By stepping into these scenarios, students aren’t just memorizing health facts—they’re learning how to apply critical thinking skills to real-life situations. They explore consent, pressure, protection, body image, identity, and more—all in a way that lets them reflect, discuss, and decide for themselves!

Inclusion Matters in Sex Ed

Sidenote: Too many sex ed lessons focus on a narrow, heteronormative view of relationships and ignore the diversity of real students. That’s why I made sure these case studies reflect different backgrounds, orientations, genders, abilities, and experiences.

Because every student deserves to see themselves represented in the conversation.

Whether it’s a student struggling with body image, someone feeling pressure to have sex, or someone questioning their sexual identity—these scenarios make space for all of those experiences.

How to Stay Judgment-Free

One of the biggest challenges in sex ed is making sure students feel safe to explore their thoughts without fear of shame. That’s why this lesson is built around open-ended discussions and critical thinking. To help with this, I made a youtube video which explore this in a open and direct way. Take a look. Feel free to use this video in your classroom whether or not you choose to use my full lesson.

Final Thoughts & Where to Get The Lesson

Sex ed shouldn’t be about fear, shame, or vague advice. It should be about helping students make smart, informed choices that align with who they are. And that happens when they can see themselves in the conversation, when they can step into real-life scenarios, and when they can think critically without judgment.

You can do all of this in your sex ed classroom without buying a resource, but if you want to try my style of teaching, you can get this lesson HERE or on TPT!

Teach On!

Katie